So, I certainly had an eventful ride home Sunday between the weather, traffic and bad drivers!  Regular readers might confuse this post as an “Angry Steph” post due to all of the foul language to follow.  I assure you, it isn’t, but it is going to be FULL of foul language!

As I blog more, I’m noticing two things.  The first is that it is becoming easier.  The second is that the sooner I post about the events I am thinking about, the better the posts are.  I really wish I had the energy to post about Sunday on Sunday night after I got home from Chelsea’s going away party, but after a total of almost 9 hours on the road, I just didn’t have anything left.

Yesterday I was fired up about writing this post.  I had an eventful Sunday.  I just have to explain something first.  After the drive home from Philly, I stopped off in Seekonk quickly before heading up to Plymouth to wish Chelsea all the best.  There were so many things running through my head, I just HAD to start writing.  How am I to write when I have yet another hour drive ahead of me you ask?  I used the voice recorder of the blackberry and did a quick “talking points” stream of consciousness.  There was so much that happened on the 5 hour ride home, I hope I don’t miss anything!

Let me start off by saying that the drive DOWN to Philly Friday night was relatively uneventful.  We didn’t hit too much traffic, so that was good.  We left late and only hit a little bit of construction traffic in Connecticut, and then some in NYC on the Cross Bronx.  I’ll deal with you later, Connecticut.

I had a great weekend.  It felt natural.  Fan-Fitz-erific.  Enough said on that.  If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to comment, and I’ll answer them.  I just don’t want to stray from the true meaning of the post.

So without further bloviating, this blog post is not so kindly brought to you by horrible weather, the rain, rain dancing Native Americans, bad drivers, “Nervous Breakers”, “Lane Weavers”, Nervous Drivers, Clueless State Police Officers, and last, but CERTAINLY not least…  The not-so-great-state of Connecticut.

My day started early, around 6:30 *wink*.  On the road, and got some much needed and delicious breakfast.  By the time I was actually on the way home it was closer to 10:30a and the skies had just grown ominous.  I pulled out my blackberry, and opened up a weather report, complete with satellite image.  No Problem!  I should be about an hour ahead of any actual rain for the whole ride home.  Mistake number one!

I don’t know if I made a miscalculation or what, but boy was I wrong.  By the time I was on the highway it was miserable out.  Torrential down-pouring, and visibility next to nothing.  What is it about bad weather that brings all the assholes out onto the road?  I drive a manual shift car.  I like my car and I love to drive.  On long trips, I do use the cruise control however, as sometimes I just want to relax a bit.  It is a 5 hour drive after all.  So as I started this trek, I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to suck it up and actually *drive* the whole way.  Visibility was bad and every bad driver in the tri-state area decided to go for a Sunday drive.

Anyone who has been in a car with me knows that I do have a touch of road rage.  They also know that for the most part, I say the things I say about the other drivers mostly to be funny, or strike up a conversation with the passengers in my car.  There are some things however, that really infuriate me, and its because they are common sense things.  I think I’m just going to list them…  Oh, and if you are responsible for more than 1 of the below things…  Horrible things to you and your family…  and your family’s family…

1. Bad Weather means you should DRIVE WITH YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS ON!!! - I’m sorry, but if you drive a gray sedan and its raining out so hard that my wipers can’t keep up, you should have the common courtesy to turn on your god damned lights.  Its for safety’s sake people!  Couple no lights with a hard to see car in the rain, and you have a recipe for disaster.  Couple that with the next few drivers I’m about to list, and well, you’ll get the idea.  Also, to all you Native American rain dancers… STOP IT.  We’ve have enough rain for the rest of the year.  So much in fact, that i think we should have a mild winter!

2. Lane Swervers / Changing Lanes without a Blinker - This one is another pet peeve of mine.  I shouldn’t let this one get to me as much as it does, but really, it makes me rage-y.  I understand that we all attempt to multitask while we drive, but if you CAN’T then DON’T.  You will ruin my (and possibly others’) day.  There is nothing worse than being on the road at a high rate of speed and not having any idea what the car in front of you is thinking.  Wait, yes there is.  When you don’t have any idea what they are thinking, they don’t have their lights on, AND its raining.  Try to stay in the CENTER of YOUR lane.  Not 1/2 in mine!  If you’re going to change lanes, then change them… WITH a blinker!  Don’t hang out and take 5 minutes to go from one lane to another.

3. Nervous Drivers - Nervous drivers in general piss me off.  I understand that some people don’t like to drive.  I’m sorry for all of you, but please, stay where you belong.  In the first two lanes.  DOING THE SPEED LIMIT.  I’m not saying you CAN’T go faster, but I AM saying that you CAN’T go SLOWER.  Its dangerous for EVERYONE else on the road who is driving.  We all make the assumption that when we get on the highway, the other cars will all be going around the same speed.  Anything more than 5mph UNDER the speed limit is cause for immediate license suspension in my book.  Driving works because there are certain assumptions made and rules agreed upon.  Remember that TEST you took to get your license??  Right-of-way for example.  When you approach an intersection, there are RULES about who goes first.  When you break those rules to be “nice” to the poor guy who is going to have to wait for 3 whole minutes to make a turn, you FUCK IT UP for everyone else.  If you see me, and are coming in the opposite direction, DON’T BE NICE TO ME, I’d rather you just obey the rules.

4. Nervous Breakers -  If there is not a car around (within 4 car lengths in any direction) you, if you are going the speed limit or above, and if you are not in immediate danger, there is absolutely, positively, NO REASON for you to use your breaks on the highway.  Ever.  EVER!  You are the primary reason I couldn’t enjoy the majority of my drive home.  I couldn’t count the number of drivers who fell into this category.  There were times when we were the ONLY two cars I could see, and yet this asshole had the nerve to slam on his breaks on more than one occasion, FOR NO REASON…  And before you go there - NO I wasn’t tailgating him.  If you MUST be a nervous breaker, then please, I implore you… Stay out of the left most lanes!  You aren’t going to be doing the speed limit anyway, so stop making people pass you!

5. Clueless State Police Officers - Just because you have a badge, a gun, and a state owned vehicle (that I helped pay for) doesn’t give you the right to be a douche behind the wheel.  Let me set the scene…  Torrential Rain.  Relatively heavy traffic flow.  CT State Trooper in a GRAY trooper car.  CT Trooper cars are stone gray, with light bars, but no writing on them.  He was in an all gray car…  In heavy Rain…  You can see where this is about to go.  He was in the right-most lane, pulled off the road just sitting there.  The visibility wasn’t very good, but i was able to see him for about a quarter mile before I actually got to him.  I was in the middle lane.  Without ANY warning (no lights, NO LIGHTS AT ALL…  No head lights, no light bar, NO LIGHTS!!!) this complete fucktard just pulls out into traffic.  Three card swerved to miss this asshole causing many more to swerve to miss those drivers.  This could have been very, very bad.  Luckily it wasn’t, but it could have been.  Thanks asshole.

6. The State of Connecticut - FUCK YOU!  Who do you think you are?  A highway - one of the system of highways linking major cities in the 48 contiguous states of the United States.  I think its implied that there should be MOTION on a highway.  One thing I will give CT is that it DOES tell you just how fucked you are.  I got to an exit with an automated message sign…  This is what it said…  “Heavy Traffic - Severe Delays - NEXT 80 MILES”…  80 Miles of Traffic??!!  It can’t be?!  It was.  80 miles at 25-40 mph.  Luckyily by then at least the weather had made a turn for the better.

I’ve babbled for too long now.  I think it’s time to end it tonight.  Comments very, very welcome.  Goodnight everyone!